


Two halfs of one whole♥

by SunFlowerKing (orphan_account)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorks who love books, First Kiss, Ghouls, Hinami Being a Cutie, KaneKane - Freeform, Kuroneki | Black-haired Kaneki, Love Bites, M/M, Marking, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other possible characters not mentioned, Possible Character Death, Sasaki Haise Is Kaneki Ken, Sexual Content, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki, Sunshine Boy Nagachika Hideyoshi, Time Travel, Touka is mean but pretty, Tsukiyama Shuu is a Creep, kanekicest, some violence, this fandom will kill me, this is so gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:38:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11739120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SunFlowerKing
Summary: Kaneki Ken's life is nothing special really, he goes to college and hangs out with his best friend every now and then but when he goes home he has no one to call his own. I guess you could say he's just an average Joe? But when he meets with an unexpected new person will his life become more fun and meaningful? Or will he be crushed by the painful truth?





	1. Unexpected Meetings♥

Unexpected meetings  
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Kaneki Ken was just an average 18 year old college student who was usually very shy and antisocial. He had black hair and light brown eyes but was very weak and skinny since he had no athletic background. 

He was just a boy trying to live his life and Hideyoshi often scolded him on not to be so distant with his own human race but to be honest Kaneki was never really interested in talking to others. He was mostly around Hide since they were best friends for a long time,that and because Hide was probably the only person in the world who understood him. 

Hide was literally a walking sunflower to Kaneki as he wore bright colored clothes that seemed to match his dirty blond hair and orange/brown eyes. Yeah he was defiantly a sunflower king. Kaneki loved his best friends bright and cheerful personality and it was so unique compared to his depressing one. But Ken had to be content with what he got sadly.

Hide chuckled and nudged his best friends shoulder. "So Neki what are you going to do this afternoon? You want to head to Anteiku again and tell me all about your secret crush?" Kaneki blushed shyly. "W-What crush? Ah,are you talking about miss Rize?" Hide snorted out of laughter and spoke,"Whoah you even know her name! dude are you secretly her stalker?~"now Ken was embarrassed. He had a crush on this lady who usually wandered to a coffee shop called Anteiku. She would go there every often to read and drink coffee and ken was awfully curious to see what type of book she was reading. But every time he met eyes with her he embarrassingly looked away. Hide and Kaneki also spent there time at Anteiku as well,but today was just a little different. You could say it was going to be a strange life for the young raven haired male from here on out.

"Stalker? Me? Never. I just saw her name printed on the bookmark she was using for her book that's all..." Suddenly Hideyoshi looked at his watch. "Crap! I better be heading home I forgot my folks were coming over today! Anyway I'll see you soon buddy call me if you need anything OK?" Kaneki smiled and nodded,waving goodbye. "Alright Hide will do!" Before Hide left he turned back and gave a playful smirk."Kaneki your a creepy dork you know that? Next time ask the girls name." And with that Hide headed off into the crowd and disappeared. Kaneki's smile soon turned to a sad one. He was happy to have Hide in his life but the urge to have a significant other often clouded his mind. He walked forward with thoughts cluttering around in his mind and he noticed how he always was a bit of a loner. 'Kind of sad really', he said to himself.  
Kaneki felt suddenly lonely remembering such things. He was happy Hide still had his family. Kaneki lost his mother at a young age and his father who knows? But it was only 3:36 so he might as well enjoy the rest of the day. Kaneki started walking to his favorite book store that wasn't too far away from his apartment. Shortly after a while of walking he soon reached his destination with a smile on his face. Bookstores were the only place where he could be himself and check out the latest novels, possibly some from his favorite author. He often wondered there since he had nothing else better to do with his life. Ken went inside and started to explore the wide varieties of books until one caught his intention, it was the latest novel of his favorite author as expected. He reached out to grab it but some else's hands got in the way,he looked up and met his brownish hazel eyes with a pair of grey ones... "Ah, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were there!" The stranger that stood in front of Kaneki had beautiful white hair and soft but pale skin. His eyes where caring and gentle but there was a bit of sadness in them,like this young man has suffered a lot. He also looked a lot like himself but only more fit and taller,I guess that was just a random coincidence. "Oh it's OK please don't worry yourself." He smiled and for some weird reason Ken blushed. "I see your also a fan of Sen Takatsuki's novels?" The stranger chuckled softly. His interest level sparked and he spoke cheerfully "Ah, yes I am actually. I love Takatsuki's books! There very interesting ~" They both shared a love for books and honesty Kaneki felt less lonely now.

Kaneki walked out of the store with a new book and new companion. "So your name is Shiro? What a funny name. anyway I'm Kaneki Ken nice to meet you!" Ken said politely. "Um yeah it is a funny name huh? Nice to meet you as well." The two boys walked together for a while having fun conversations about books and things they liked to do,they also talked about things they enjoyed in there free time. Shiro mentioned to Kaneki that he loved to read and drink coffee when there was nothing to do. Shiro was surprisingly attracted to Kaneki's bright and innocent personality. Something about Ken made his miss the old days more. Kaneki happily agreed with a smile as the two continued to share there similarities and differences. "Well anyway my place is this way so I'm guessing you live more forward?" Shiro shook his head. "Actually I'm going the same way as you. I moved into your apartments not that long ago...my room number is 65." Ken was amazed that his new friend also lived in the same complex apartments, but how come he never noticed? And how did Shiro know he lived there? "I saw you heading out to school this morning not that I was watching you or anything I just remember seeing you." Oh Now that's probably why he knew he lived there. "Ah, I see well let's get going shall we?" Shiro nodded as they continued there walk. When they reached the apartments they both noticed how awfully close there rooms where. "So you live in apartment number 62? That's pretty close..." Kaneki frowned. "I thought you knew where I lived since you saw me leave this morning?"  
"What? No I couldn't tell what room you came from my angle was confusing!" They both shared a laugh. "Yeah right excuses,excuses." Kaneki was about to unlock his door when Shiro interrupted. "Hey is it OK if I call you Kuro? Just as a nickname you know since were friends and all." He unlocked his door and opened it,smiling once again at the white haired male. "Sure thing Shiro see you soon." Kuro entered his apartment and closed the door. Soon after Ken was gone Shiro made his way to his own place and quickly went inside and locked the door.

When he locked the door he made his way to the kitchen before resting his body on the wall for a while. His stomach growled and ached with intense hunger as he panted out with a concerned expression. "Kuro...no one can hurt the purity I once had... After all he is my past self right? I must protect him or else he will end up broken and twisted like me..." Shiro spoke softly with a husky voice. He had been hungry for a while now but couldn't risk attacking Kaneki,not at least till he got home that is. He opened his refrigerator where he pulled out a package covered in blood. Shiro licked his lips and hesitated at first but slowly opening the package,revealing a big clump of human flesh. It was soft and meaty but disgusting in every way possible. A ghoul has to eat to live,it's harsh but true. Black nails dug in the meat as ate his hunger away with tears streaming down his cheeks.

What a cruel world indeed.


	2. Painful Memories♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki's unexpected new friend is called Shiro. Just another person he can relate to or so he thought. It turns out Shiro is Kaneki Ken but from the future and surprisingly enough he is a half ghoul. How will Shiro react to an unexpected visit at the place that holds the most memories?  
> Anteiku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Its me sunflower! In this chapter Rize makes an apperence and so does Touka. This part is a bit longer and more detailed then the first part. Hope you enjoy! ^w^

Painful memories  
•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

It was 8:30 in the morning and Shiro had woken up due to his own kagune waving around excitedly. He often had this problem where he wouldn't be able to control his own tendrils for a while. They seemed to have acted on there own most of the time and it was honestly annoying the shit out of Shiro."Alright, Alright I'm up you stupid cat tails,I might as well call you tails instead." One of the tendrils had smacked Shiro slightly on the head as they disappeared into red dust behind his lower back. "Yeah that's right you better hide..." He got up and stretched a bit with a long,lazy yawn. "I better get dressed and eat dinner...maybe brush my teeth then fix my hair? Or maybe I should just-" Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Shiro blinked in surprise and made his way to the door,he opened it cautiously but froze when he saw his counterpart Kuro. 

"Um...hey Shiro? I'm sorry to bug you but can I stay with you for a bit? There some workers in my apartment working on plumage problems." Shiro was both happy and nervous but he kept his cool. "Why can't you just wait till there done?"  
"Well I can't because its a all day thing. Besides I'm not comfortable around strangers...I mean I know you already so your not a stranger! B-But if your busy then its OK. I guess I can go ask Hi-" Shiro quickly pulled ken inside and closed the door. "You can stay. But only because I don't trust you with anyone else got that?" Ken stuttered shyly. "Y-Yes Shiro I-I understand." The other male chuckled. "No need to worry I was just messing with you feel free to come and go as you please." Shiro headed into his room to fix himself while leaving a bewildered dork in the living room.  
When Shiro came back he was all dresses in decent clothes with his hair fixed and a grin on his face. 'He seemed happy today unlike yesterday's calm,depressing mood...' Thought the human. Shiro attempted to open up his fridge but froze in shock. He almost forgot that he had human remains and body parts stacked up in there,he surely didn't want to scare or gross out his guest. "Um you hungry? Let's head out for breakfast at a near by place I know of!" Ken agreed and smiled politely,"OK then I'm already dressed and showered so don't worry about me." Shiro nodded and opened the door as they made there way out.  
Soon they arrived at Kaneki's favorite known place. "Wait this is Anteiku! I come here a lot with Hide!" Shiro looked at the other a bit sad. "Oh? I didn't know you came here. That's good I guess. This place really brings back memories for me..." Shiro was touching his chin with a pained grin. Kaneki nudged his shoulder and spoke softly with worry. "You OK? You look sad." The white haired shook his head and lead the way inside,"I'm fine."  
As they walked inside they were greeted by a young female worker who Ken had seen a couple of times. She had dark purple hair and pretty violet-like eyes but one of her eyes where covered by her bangs. She looked like she was filled with anger and compassion but Ken was never bothered by her in fact she seemed nice. "Hello and welcome to Anteiku." She took a glimpse at the two and frowned slightly. "Touka..." Ken looked at Shiro in surprise and so did the young waitress. "Huh? Do I know you or something?"  
"No you probably don't remember me. Sorry about the confusion~" he smiled but she just huffed in annoyance and left.

The two boys soon found an empty place to sit at and stare at the menu but Ken was filled with questions. "So Shiro how do you know her name?" Shiro put his eyes on the other. "Hm? Oh Well let's just say that are old friends. She doesn't know me anymore but I'm sure she'll come around."  
"Oh." Was all the raven haired male could say. He was still confused but trusted Shiro's words. After a while of waiting Touka came by to collect there orders. Kaneki ordered a sandwich with fresh green tea as a drink but all Shiro got was black coffee. 'Maybe he wasn't hungry? Well I'm sure he'll eat sooner right?' Again Ken thought to himself. It took another while for there orders to arrive and they were finally able to enjoy there treats. It was silent for a bit but soon conversations about random things filled the café. You could say they were finally having some fun until someone else came in. That's when things got intense.

Kaneki glimpsed to the side and met eyes with his secret crush Rize. She was indeed beautiful and stunning in his eyes and he gasped as her light colored purple hair passed by. She was always smiling when she came in and she always sat at the same spot across from kaneki. He lowered his head in a dark blush. "It's her. It's really her. She's here again." Shiro watched as ken became a shy,blushing mess but he wasn't so pleased. He glared at Rize as she passed by and he couldn't help but feel the need to throw up. He was scared but also enraged. "Are you almost done? If not hurry up have to go." Ken looked up in confusion once more. "What? Leave? So soon?!" Shiro left some money by the table and got up,yanking at the others arm. "Yes now hurry up or else you might-" his sentence was cut short when Rize came behind him and dropped her book. He stood still in place clearly stunned. Did she do that on purpose? "Shiro! Be careful next time you almost hit her! Ah, sorry about my friend..." Kaneki picked up her book and looked at it while giving it back. "Egg of the black goat?" 

"Oh it's alright I'm sure your friend didn't mean it~ anyway yes that's the book that I'm currently reading,you know of it?" Kaneki gasped. "Yes its from my favorite author and one of the best novels so far! I read it so many times!" Rize giggled. "You must be a big fan of Takatsuki's works" Kaneki shyly blushed and shouted out in joy,"Y-y-yes! I love sen takatsuki!!" Shiro came in and pulled kaneki close. "Sorry to bug you miss but we were just leaving."  
"Oh where are my manners my name is Rize Kamishiro~" she cooed. "Alright that's lovely now we really must go." She frowned slightly in awe. "What's the rush? surely you two must have time to chat?" Kaneki was about to say something when Shiro interrupted. "Actually no we don't. Goodbye." And with that last remark Shiro quickly dragged his precious human away from Anteiku but he slowly felt her glare from behind. He knew she wasn't going to be ignored that easily.

"What was that all about?!" Ken shouted. "She's a bad person don't go near her." Shiro frowned slightly.  
"B-Bad?! She was so nice and polite though...she even liked the same author that we do and she didn't seem so-" Shiro was furious now as he yelled back at his counterpart. "ENOUGH! JUST SHUT UP OK?!"  
There was silence. Silence And more silence until Shiro sighed, rubbing at his temple. "Look I'm sorry OK but trust me when I tell you this...she is a horrible person." Kaneki didn't understand why he was so hateful towards Rize but he complied effortlessly. Walking the way home was dark and completely awkward for the two. None of them were sure of what to say next for a long time,shame seemed to have filled both boys. It was at least 4 or 5 in the afternoon and time sure did fly by. Shiro was still worried about Rize and a bunch of other things such as the CCG or fabulous trash Shuu or worse Yamori. So many threats to worry about so Shiro decided to kill everything that was considered harmful. He had so many people to protect such as Touka,Hinami,Yomo,Uta,Hide,Nishio-Senpai,Yoshimura and just so many precious friends. He needed to set things right,after all isn't that why he was sent back to the past mysteriously? Or was this just a sick dream?  
When they arrived at Shiro's apartment Kaneki was surprisingly very tired. Shiro looked through cabinets of clothes and items of personal belongings when he entered his room. He quickly found a plastic bag with what he was searching for, but he had to find a way to sneak out. He paused for a moment and stood there in thought,he slowly made his way to the living room to ask Kaneki something but was surprised to find him sleeping. "What a dork...well I'll let you sleep. I'll be back OK?" Shiro smiled softly while gently kissing the others forehead before stepping out the door. He found a empty alley way to cautiously change into his battle suit and switched his old clothes in the bag,he sprouted his kagune from his lower back with a calm face. Shiro's kagune swaying around beautifully as there neon like colors of red and back. Next Shiro put on his skeleton grin mask and leaped up onto the cities rooftops where he stood proudly as Tokyo glittered in the night sky. With a loud crack of his index finger he spoke softly as his right eye was blood red and covered in a black abyss. Red small veins showed up inside and out of his right eye,spread across his face slightly. Yes he was what most people in society considered to be a monster but he wasn't a monster in fact he was a...

"I am a ghoul."


	3. The Monster That Was Loved♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New and curious events keep happening between the two males. There both living there own world of sadness but will feelings start to develop? Or have those feelings already been there? Perhaps it was just another dream of longing and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo its me! Anyway here is another Shitty chapter that took a while to write. These stories are first written on wattpad as a draft then fixed and edited here. Enough of that hehe I hope you enjoy my story so far! ♪

The monster that was loved  
•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

When Kaneki woke up it was already morning. He yawned and rubbed his eyes while remembering what happened yesterday with Rize and Touka,in general it was a confusing day but hopefully today was better. Ken stood up and wondered why shiro wasn't up yet so he decided to peak at his room. When he entered the room he found it surprising that it was so neat and organized unlike his own room at home. He looked around a bit and found some old books and notes,clearly shiro liked to write a lot but it could possibly be diary. Before he did anything he decided to give on last look of the room but was curious to see why pictures were hanged on the wall. He took a step closer and smiled as he saw a picture of Shiro with Touka and some small girl with a flower/Clover hair pin decoration. "Shiro does know Touka after all. But who are those other people...i never seen them before." They must have been old workers at Anteiku. When kaneki noticed Shiro wasn't in the room he went back to the living room and sighed. "Darn I'm alone...maybe he went somewhere and would be back shortly! Well if that's the case I'll just head back home." He opened the door and closed it making sure it was nice and shut,he slowly made his way to his apartment and entered his own house. It was a good thing none of the workers stole anything,well they were hired and paid before starting the work so everything was OK. He picked up his phone and saw two messages from Hide earlier this morning.

Kaneki: Hey Neki! Good morning my bro♪ anyway I'm going to the movie theaters to watch parallel dandelion. Wanna come?  
Kaneki smiled and typed back.  
Kaneki: Sure Hide I'd love to! That's the movie that came out three days ago right? Well what time you want to head out?  
Kaneki got up and went to the fridge to grab a hamburger,he placed it in the microwave and waited but his phone buzzed. Hide replied so fast-  
Hide: Yeah heard it was great! Glad I can watch it with you anyway come at my place say around...7?  
Kaneki typed with a giggle,he loved Hide's personality it was so unique.  
Kaneki: Oh ok then 7 sounds good see you till then :)  
Hide: Awesome! Alright later buddy take care! ;)  
Ken placed his phone down and took out his food from the microwave and ate peacefully wondering where shiro really did go. As that happened Shiro was currently heading back home but staying hidden in the shadows away from people. He had been roaming around Tokyo searching for clues and answers by hunting common ghouls down. He desperately wanted to know where Yamori's and Rize's hideouts were but so far nothing.  
Shiro decided to just ignore that for now as he arrived at the small complex apartments. He opened his door and almost smacked himself in the face for not locking the door. He entered slowly only to find the house empty. Kaneki must have left because he was no where to be found. "I hope he didn't open the fridge or anything like that. Shit I better go make sure he's ok...or maybe he had something to do? But what if-" he stepped on a paper that must have fallen. Shiro picked it up only to see that it was a note from Kuro. 

Dear Shiro, 

  I saw that you weren't home so I decided to head back home. But don't worry I didn't touch anything that belonged to you! Anyway thank you for letting me stay over I had fun.

                      Sincerely, Kaneki 

What a dork. A true dork. Its a good thing Shiro broke out of his innocent, wimpy past self. But it was also a part of himself that he missed the most...

Kaneki was at Hide's house by then and the two friends chilled for a bit before heading out. Kaneki had told Hide all about how he met a new friend and how they spent a day together at Anteiku. "So his name is Shiro huh?" Hide spoke curiously. "Yeah he's a bit taller than me and looks like he works out. He has his times where he's sad and all but trust me he means well." Hide grabbed a hold of Ken's shoulders. "Dude I'm kind of jealous but I'm glad you made a new friend. But remember I'm your BEST friend." Kaneki and Hide shared a joyful laughter. "Hide you'll always be my best friend and you know that~"  
"Dam right. I'm your best bro till the end and I'll always support you no matter what!"   
Right. Hide was family and always will be family. Kaneki hoped that they would spend there life as friends forever. "Right. Thank you Hide." A smile formed on Kaneki's lips. All Kaneki wanted was to be loved by those he cared for because in the end everyone is searching for happiness.

Hours and minutes passed as the two friends had just finished watching parallel dandelion. It was indeed a strange movie but Kaneki liked the overall plot of the storyline. Lately Ken had been thinking of becoming an author himself in hopes of accomplishing his dreams. But he knew things like that take time. Time he didn't really have ever since he started college that is. "Man that was so boring! I thought it was going be all action and no romance type of thing. Oh well at least my money went to good use" Hide held back a tear and made a proud face of determination. "Aw come on Hide it was actually pretty good. I liked how the protagonist found his missing wife and kids, honestly it made me cry a bit..."   
"What?! Aw you big sissy we should watch scary movies together to toughen you up!" Hide spoke happily and now ken was concerned. "You know I don't like scary things...I have a weak heart and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night." Another round of laughter was heard from the two. "This is why you need a girlfriend." Right a girlfriend. Somehow Kaneki didn't mind if he found a partner or not. Besides if he was ready then that's when he'll actually try to ask someone out. Until then he remained single. Shortly after there walk back home Hide asked Kaneki if he wanted to stay over at his place. It was late and it would have been nice to stay over but ken didn't want to be a bother. "Alright Neki if you need anything call me OK? Are you sure you don't want to spend the night at my place?" The other shook his head with a grin. "No it's ok Hide don't trouble yourself over me. Besides I don't live that far from you remember?"  
"Ah right,right Almost forgot. Well see you in class then buddy! Stay safe you hear?" And with that they parted there ways. It was getting cold and Ken soon stared regretting not staying at Hide's place but he got this far so might as well continue. Nighttime was usually a bad time in Tokyo as all types of people wandered the streets at dark. Not to mention ghouls. If anyone were to run into a ghoul there most likely to end up in the news the next day and ken certainly didn't want to become one of those people.  
Quickening his pace he nervously felt like someone was watching him. He decided to just take a shortcut on his way home but soon kaneki found out it was a bad decision. His shortcut was a small alleyway that would have been good to take during the day. He heard faint sounds of what seemed to be crackling of bones or something like that. It was probably a cat making noise of a sort. Or perhaps a stray dog? Or luckily just an average person. As we walked forward to the direction of the noise he noticed a man probably around his late 30's. Kaneki sighed in relief as nothing seemed to be wrong until the stranger lifted up a weird stick. He looked closer only to realize in horror that what the man was holding was not a stick but indeed an arm. "W-wha....?" He stepped back into a pile of trash cans and fell,causing a loud noise that caught the ghouls attention. "Huh? Whose there? Listen if it's another ghoul I ain't sharing my food got that?" He leaned in and took a good glimpse at the terrified human before him. "Oh just another human. Well good for me I guess I haven't eaten in days and besides...we wouldn't want you calling the CCG now would we?~" The older man's kagune sprouted from his upper part of his arm and it pointed directly to Kens chest. Kaneki began to cry softly as his eyes widened in fear. Is this how it will all end? We wanted to see Hide and Shiro again,he wanted to meet new friends and possibly start a family of his own. He wanted to be a author one day a famous one that everyone would admire. "Say goodbye pipsqueak." The kagune rose slightly then stuck down on Kaneki. "No....no...no please... I don't want to die!!!" Ken quickly shut his eyes and everything stopped. Silence.

When He looked up he noticed the ghouls limp body on the ground. Covered in blood and clearly stabbed to death by a strong force but who saved him? Suddenly a figure showed in the darkness of the alleyway but three no four bright red tendrils glowed in the dark. Another ghoul great just what Kaneki needed as if he wasn't terrified enough. "P-Please...don't kill me" His voice was cracked and sore from the burning of his tears and sobs. A gentle hand creases the side of ken's cheek as his savior spoke softly "Kuro..." All reality froze in place as he shockingly recognized the voice. No it couldn't be..."S-Shiro...?" His breath hitched "Why? But how? Why didn't- No! No!! This can't be real!" Shiro stepped into the light revealing his black,yet tight battlesuit. His mouth and nose covered in a skeleton grin mask. When Kaneki looked up at his eye he gasped at how intimidating yet horrifying it seemed. "Kuro please I can explain everything just let me help you get back home...I'm so sorry you had to see this." The raven haired male was lifted up from his feet as Shiro carried him to his apartment slowly and carefully. Kaneki didn't say anything. He just continued to sob in the others arm and for some reason he didn't care anymore that Shiro was a ghoul. All we wanted to do now was sleep and know the truth.  
None of the two knew what to say now. Shiro felt strong guilt and Kaneki felt nothing but betrayal and worry. Shiro finally spoke as they sat across from each other on two separate couches. "Listen I wanted to tell you sooner that I was a ghoul but I couldn't risk scaring you off. I was roaming around the area when I happen to see you pass by...I wanted to follow you to make sure you didn't get into any trouble but as guessed you stumbled into a tight situation. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just let that creep kill you!" Kaneki looked down and understood why Shiro wouldn't tell him such a thing. He knew there was something odd about Shiro but he never would have thought he was a ghoul. "It's ok. I know you just wanted to keep me safe but you could have too me sooner...but thank you for saving me-" Soft sobs and sniffling filled the room and to Ken's sheer surprise the white haired male was crying.  
"I just didn't want to see you hurt. I wanted to keep you safe from the truth. I thought if you knew I was a monster you'd hate me and abandon me forever. T-Truth is I don't know why I'm here and why I'm still alive. I just wanted a chance to start over and make things right! I just wanted to be ha-" Shiro's words were cut of when he felt the others lips oh his own. It was soft but gentle and didn't feel as passionate as he thought it would. I guess cause there both new to this kissing stuff. Shiro kissed back and closed his eyes,enjoying the new feeling of warmth and love. Something he desperately searched for. They kissed for a while longer till they both ran out of breath, then Ken spoke softly with a smile. "It's OK. I still see you as a person and I know you'll be happy for once." Shiro hugged his counterpart tightly and smiled slightly. 'So this is what love means right? To be happy.' Shiro thought to himself pleased at the idea.

"I love you Shiro. I don't care what you are anymore..."


	4. A New Start♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new start was all Shiro wanted. And now that he gets the chance to start things over he won't stop till everyone he cares for is happy and safe. Anteiku is the next step to a new life.

A new start  
•♥•♥•♥•♥•

Shiro woke up the next day and found his arms gently rapped around the others slender body. At first he was confused as if to why they were sleeping together like this. But then it hit him,sudden memories of yesterday's nighttime confession. Shiro removed his arms from his sleeping counterpart and touched his own lips softly. "Right...we kissed." Was all he can say for now. Shiro did indeed confess that he was a ghoul but did he ever mention to Kaneki that he was also Kaneki Ken? He couldn't tell the other due to another strain of worry. For now Shiro decided to leave things as it is with only one Kaneki and one Shiro. Still feeling a bit happy Shiro got up and went to his wardrobe to pick up new clothes to wear. After he picked up his clothes and got all dressed he made his way to the living room to the door,shiro unlocked it and slowly went outside. As soon as he was outside he closed the door and headed off to Anteiku. Why? He didn't really know but he wanted to get a job there so he can truly start all over.

Cold hair started to fill the streets as Shiro made his way to anteiku and like always people crowded the areas. He watched as friends,family,the old and the young and just about everyone in general passed by. He smelled the scent of ghouls waking among the humans and it was no surprise that they looked at him in many strange expressions. Some ghouls looked at Shiro mad and some looked at him confused. I guess they smelled his strange scent because Shiro was indeed half human,half ghoul. Not to mention the fact that he smelled like a girl since he did get his kagune from Rize. He was impressed that so far no one seemed to be bothered by it. Well some ghouls were. Shortly after all those deep thoughts and thinking he managed to reach the small coffee shop but soon found out it was closes for the day. Shiro decided to enter through the back door since it was always open. "Ugh I can't believe that stupid glass cup broke on me!" Shiro recognized the voice and smiled. It was definitely Touka Kirishima and no surprise that she was always angry in some type of way. He spoke politely as possible hopping not to irritate the young female. "Um hello? Miss?" She turned back towards the male in confusion after throwing away the broken pieces of glass. "Huh? Oh...it's you from before. Great what do you want?" She spoke out softly but with a bit of annoyance in her tone. "I'm here to see your boss, if that's OK with you."  
"My boss? Why do you want to see him?" Shiro looked at the purple haired girl and smiled. "Well...I'm here to ask him if I can work at Anteiku that's all." Touka rolled her eyes and frowned opening the door for Shiro. "Follow me punk and don't even think about laying a finger on me or I'll kick your ass!" Yeah same old Touka. After that they both headed inside and made there way to Yoshimura's office room. Shiro made sure to keep his distance from Touka but when he was about to ask something she mumbled out in curiosity, "Why do you smell so different? It's like your human but not really. Also you smell like a dam ghoul I know who causes trouble around these parts of the city." Shiro looked away and blinked calmly. "Oh...I'm surprised you finally noticed. Well you see I'm-"  
"A half ghoul I know. I'm not stupid" Shiro looked at Touka with a frown. "Then why did you ask the question? Talk about stupid look who's talking." The female waitress quickly turned around and smacked the others head with her fist and spoke out furiously, "Shut up idiot!!" Shiro held his head and hissed in pain. Was she always this rough? "Here's Yoshimura's office you dummy. Also one more thing...what's your name?"  
"It's Shiro. Please just call me Shiro." He smiled once again before heading into Yoshimura's office. "Shiro huh? Hmm...welcome to Anteiku." Touka said finally before heading off to finish work.

When Shiro entered the office he found Yoshimura standing peacefully by the window staring at the outside world. He slowly turned around and smiled once he knew he had company. "Hello there young lad. How may I help you?" Shiro always admired Yoshimura's kind and respectful character,he often found the old man to be like a father. "Um my name is Shiro. Anyway I was wondering if I can work here sir. You see I don't like hunting for..." He coughed and cleared his throat. "People and I'll be sure to work hard in order to receive my payment and special package." Yoshimura nods in agreement and says calmly, "I see so your also a ghoul. A very odd one that is. But I understand why you need to work here so please be happy to know that you start work in two days from now. If you need help in any way make sure to inform me." Shiro smiled and sighed at how easily he managed to get a job at Anteiku. But then again Anteiku always welcomed any ghoul. Which was a good thing too because he was starting to run out of meat at home,so this was better than going hungry. "Thank you so much,I'll be sure to let you know if I need anything."  
"My name is Quzin Yoshimura but feel free to call me manager." Shiro opened the door and looked back. He already knew his name but acted like he didn't know. "Thank you Yoshimura-San I'll be sure to drop my Monday for work" Yoshimura quickly stated something to the white haired male,"Oh! Mister Shiro don't forget to go to Touka for your new uniform to take home OK? Do you know who she is?" Shiro nodded. "Yeah I know her already. Thank you" The half ghoul made his way out the office and straight to Touka in favor of the new uniform. "So how did everything go with the boss?" She asked looking for Shiro's size in uniform. "Everything went good actually. I get to work here though so I'm glad~" He softly chuckled and surprisingly so did Touka. "Great now I'm going to have to deal with you everyday for now on. Well keep in mind that you always have to stay on your feet cause the customers will never leave you alone. Not even for one minute!" They shared a laugh and soon he felt happy once more,"I'll be sure to remember that Touka-Chan." She passed the other his clothes and frowned getting annoyed once again. "How the hell do you know my name by the way?" Shiro stiffened and felt like a complete idiot, he sighed and made up a quick lie. "Well I happened to hear your best friend call out your name once in public. That's how I recognized you the day I first came to Anteiku with my companion."  
"Well that makes much more sense. Dam it Yoriko always saying my name loudly for the whole fucking world to hear-" As soon as he placed his clothes on a bag Shiro looked back at the store and waved goodbye to his new friends. "See you Monday Touka-Chan!"  
"Yeah whatever idiot! Don't show up late or I'll kill you!" Shiro giggled to himself and thought of her threat to be more of a joke. He was glad everything was going so great and he couldn't wait to start his first day of work.

Finally arriving home with a new type of joy Shiro entered his apartment with a grin. He noticed some rattling in the kitchen and left his bag on the couch to see who was making all the noise. Oh he forgot Kaneki was staying over again. What a idiot he was. "Shiro? Ah,Your home! I thought you got hurt or something!" Shiro sat down on the kitchen counter and sighed. "You really think I'll get hurt easily? I mean come on I'm a ghoul. Anyway I headed to Anteiku to start a job and I'm going for work on monday." Kaneki smiled and set two cups of coffee next to Shiro. "You got a job at Anteiku? I'm so proud of you Shiro now I'll be able to see you doing something useful ~" Shiro frowned and took a cup of coffee,"What do you mean by that? Saying I'm lazy you big meany." He drank his cup slowly and closed his eyes. "N-No I didn't mean it like that! it's just that your not going to school and you haven't got a job till recently! W-What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad your not putting yourself in danger..." Shiro placed the cup down and kissed Ken's cheek softly. "Your coffee is terrible by the way. Now shut it mkay?" Kaneki's cheeks turned pink as he looked away in embarrassment,"Your so mysterious sometimes you know that?"  
"I think I already know that." Shiro smiled softly and looked back at the raven haired male. "You should let me teach you how to make coffee properly sometime. It will be worth it I guarantee that." Kaneki continued to drink his cheep tasting coffee and nodes slowly. "I think I'd like that very much thank you." They were both different people but also the same. Some things never do change but as people keep mentioning to others...

Change can be a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Anyway here's the new shitty chapter. Hope you bare with me cause I still got more chapters to write sadly;  
> If you have any concerns or comments please let me know! Thank you ♪


	5. A Meaningful Meaning♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki and Shiro decided to take there relationship to a different level. But is it meaningful? (WARNING SOME SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to make. I'm trying to add plots to each chapter and this is going to be a long story so bear with me friends ~

A meaningful meaning  
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It had been a while since Kaneki had gone to his own apartment room,you could say he started living with Shiro ever since they started dating. But much to Kaneki's dismay it didn't really feel like a relationship. There was still some type of friendship connection going on and Shiro has only been concerned about the possible dangers he would face. Ken had to admit the fact that so far there relationship was dull since it was indeed a bit rushed, but no one seemed to mind. Who would mind though? There overall connection was still kept a secret to anyone they knew,including Hide. Shiro had also been having bad nightmares that resolved to waking up crying or terrified. Shiro finally had started work and has been working for a week now and Kaneki knew that man overworked himself. Shiro would come home exhausted,barely able to do anything except shower and eat. There was definitely a lot to worry abut so Kaneki decided to do something special for the other. He thought hard for a while wondering what type of surprises would please a ghoul,perhaps he can make a cake for Shiro?,suddenly that idea was shattered. "Right he can't eat human food..." So Kaneki began another round of hard thinking. Suddenly he looked up from the ground and smiled happily. "I could give Shiro a free massage! And maybe I could make his coffee just the way he likes it since he has been teaching me how. And after that I'll give him a new book I bought yesterday! Its not from our favorite author but I'm sure he'll love it!~" Kaneki made a determined fist with his hand and grinned proudly. "Shiro deserves the best!" After his final conclusion Ken decided to get things ready for Shiro's arrival.

Meanwhile at Anteiku the customers numbers were slowly decreasing as it was already getting late. With a few more orders to take Shiro decided to be quick about this. He felt bad at how much he was neglecting his partner with all these problems and Responsibility's. He wanted to make it up to Kaneki and do something special for him but what could he do to please the other? Suddenly Touka called out to the white haired male,"Hey Shit-face mind telling me why you look so distracted right now?" Shiro took a glance at Touka and frowned. "I'm sorry Touka-Chan,I'm just thinking about the perfect gift." Touka cocked her eyebrow and spoke,"Perfect what? Wait don't tell me you have a girlfriend or something." Shiro felt like a idiot and cursed at himself for always being so straight froward when it came to certain situations. "Well? Tell me who she is lover boy." Touka sounded surprisingly calm yet understanding as she clearly wanted to help the male with his problem. "You see I...I'm with this person OK? And I'm not going to say who so just roll with it. Anyway I haven't been giving much attention to them and I feel really bad about it so I want to do something special. I'm not sure yet of what I'm going to do but if you have any romantic ideas that'd be great." The waitress nudged her coworker's shoulder and smiled. "Your a hopeless loosed aren't you? Fine I'll give you and idea that might help you make up with your partner. So here's what you do,you go buy flowers for them and make sure it comes with chocolate. Then you say 'I'm sorry I've been so busy but I promise things will get better' and poof the magic kicks in!" Shiro nervously looked away in worry,"A-Are you sure that will help?" Touka shouted and tugged on her friends ear. "Just do what I say Baka-Shiro! Now go buy the things before it gets any later!" "B-But the orders. My shift isn't over!" She snatched Shiro's notebook were he kept the last few orders and chuckled,"Don't worry I'll cover your shift. Besides everyone is almost gone so its OK." Shiro looked at her and smiled gently,"Thank you Touka..."  
"Yeah,Yeah whatever. But you owe me a drink so were even now." Shiro looked back at his friend and nodded,"You got it."

At the apartment Kaneki had finished making Shiro's caramel latē with a bit of whipped cream on top. Shiro seemed to be favoring the sweetness of the warm taste of sugar even though it tasted a bit odd to him. After he set the coffee on the table he placed the new book gently rapped in colorful paper beside it. Now all Ken had to do was wait for Shiro so he could start off with a big 'welcome home' hug. Eventually Kaneki got bored of waiting and decided to take out a cake from the fridge, he grabbed a knife and slowly cut the cake into a edible shape that was suitable for him,right when he was going to put the knife back he tripped over his own feet and managed to cut the palm of his hand. Kaneki obviously shouted in pain as he never liked being hurt in anyway particular. He held his injured hand and hissed at the burning feeling,"Ah- I should really be more careful..." Suddenly the door opened as Shiro walked in with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. "Kaneki I'm ho-" He froze when he saw Kaneki on the ground, he smelled blood as well. "Kaneki!",Shiro placed the items on the kitchen counter and bent down to the others level in worry. "Did you hurt yourself? How did you- Ah your palm its bleeding!" Kaneki blinked and smiled shyly,"Its OK. It's not that deep but it is bleeding a lot..." Shiro looked at Ken's injury and shivered as the blood dripped to the floor below. Kaneki glanced at Shiro and found where he was staring at. "If you want you can try it" Suddenly Shiro looked up in shock,"W-What?" Kaneki held his injured arm underneath Shiro's chin,"I said you can have a taste...,I mean you like blood and flesh right? So just try me." He sounded a bit embarrassed but quickly got out of his shyness. Shiro gave a nod and held the others bloody palm. He gave a slow,careful lick and closed his eyes,Kaneki tasted sweeter than he thought and Shiro found himself craving more. The irony taste was still there but there was also this unique flavor to it,like a spice. Kaneki gasped at how Shiro began liking his palm roughly, devouring his blood completely in hopes of receiving more. This was all a bit to much to take for Kaneki as he imagined how his tongue would feel on his-  
'NO STOP-' ken practically yelled at himself through his mind and tried hard not to think of such wrong desires. Shiro stopped licking and looked up at his partner with mismatched eyes,one gray eye and one completely black with a red eyeball. The irises of both eyes glittered in sudden need and hunger,and Kaneki slowly felt himself getting hard. Shyly Kaneki covered his face to avoid the others gaze,"I-I made coffee for you...and I got you a new book by the way. I-I wanted to give you massage as well since you've been working so hard lately." Shiro blinked and smiled kindly kissing his counterparts lips,"Really...? You did that for me? Thank you I honestly didn't expect that. Shiro pulled back and pointed to the kitchen counter,"I...I got roses for you that came with a box of chocolates. I'm sorry I haven't been giving you much attention..." Kaneki chuckled and blushed pink. "I would do anything to make you feel better. Also you didn't have to go out and buy me things!-" Shiro licked Ken's lips softly,"I had to though... Let's just forget about the gifts for now and let's um head to the bedroom?" Kaneki sighed and spoke out softly,"Oh god please let's just do that for now."  
•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

In the room there was nothing but the soft echoing of pants and moans,each time as things got more heated the sounds seemed to increase. Yes thew were doing it. They were making love or at least that's a better way of saying it. The two boys honestly didn't know why things got so complicated between them. Kaneki just thought Shiro was going to be another great friend like Hide. And Shiro thought Ken would be nothing more but a sad past to leave behind. As they lay there on the bed groaning and making soft sounds of love they thought a lot about 'why? And 'How?'  
Those thoughts soon disappeared in there minds and now the only thing they could do was live,In hopes that life would have pity on there sorrowful past. "S-Shiro..." Was all Kaneki could moan out. Shiro's name would be mumbled a couple of times as the other continued his thrusting movements. They were both new at this but they took the time to prepare with gentleness and passion. "Almost done just be a little more patient...I promise it won't hurt." Shiro was using his fingers for at least 35 minutes trying to stretch out the others tight rim. "S-Shiro please I'm- Ah!" Kaneki was feeling desperate and impatient now,the fingers that were inside him stretched and wiggled slowly taking away the pain little by little,soon the pain was replaced by pleasure but as much as he wanted the other inside him he couldn't admit it or say it out loud. Shiro's crotch was hard and dripping a little bit of pre-cum after a while of pleasing his counterpart. His tent that had formed in his pants had been craving some sort of attention or friction. Shiro couldn't help but let out a sound as he purposely grinded his hips against Kaneki. "S-Shiro I'm I'm- r...r...." Shiro looked at the other male and paused his movements. Kaneki looked beautiful under the shinning of the moonlight,the way the sheen of sweat covered a bit of his face,chest and back was wonderful. Not to mention the blush that spread across all the way to the tips of his ears, he watched as Ken's chest heaved for needy breathes of air and honestly this was all too much to take in. Shiro slightly smirked and brushed his fingers past Kaneki's prostate each time with soft thrusts. "What is it Kuro?" Shiro would ask teasingly, "A-ahh~ S-Shiro please I need your...Y-Your-" The pleasure was so intense for poor Kenny as he practically law there naked while all Shiro had was only his pants and boxers on,which was still unfair. "Tell me Kuro." The white haired male smiled softly while pulling his fingers out.  
Kaneki frowned and whimpered,feeling empty as Shiro pulled out his fingers. "Take off all your clothes and just f-fu...screw me already!" Kaneki felt shy saying such things. He wasn't sure what to do since they were both indeed virgins. Kaneki hoped that the other would understand what he was saying,but instead he received more teasing. Shiro peppered soft kisses on Ken's chest and neck,effectively marking him but not completely. Slowly Shiro wrapped his arms around Kaneki's waist and whispered to the raven haired male,"Can I...quickly just..." Shiro bit down on ken's shoulder hard but not too hard. He frowned when he heard soft whimpering and wines but continued to dig his teeth deeper,eventually drawing blood from the tender flesh. "S-Shiro what are you- ah! P-Please stop..." Shiro growled slightly,he was enjoying Kaneki's sweet tasting blood pour into his mouth,dried up dots and smears on his cheek,chin and neck. He couldn't hold back the urge to tear the other apart and eat his soft squishy insides- No! He couldn't do such a awful thing to his partner! He gently pulled back and licked his lips. "I'm sorry Kuro- I was just marking you mine." Kaneki blushed and smiled shyly but the pain in his shoulder still hurt,there would definitely be a scar. He was marked and would soon to be marked in a much more reasonable way. Shiro took off his pants and then teasingly slid down his boxers for the other to see, and by this time kaneki was truly embarrassed. "I'll be sure not to hurt you." Shiro said as they pressed there bodies together and embraced in a warm hug. Kaneki's fingers trailed down Shiro's spine and down to his lower back. He couldn't tell why Shiro was stiffening up but he continued to rub small circles on that particular spot on his back. "Kuro don't- ah...touch there-" The spot began to ripple and get wet,fingers pressing harder on the skin. Kaneki blushed when he saw Shiro's panting face,lustful eyes looking away In embarrassment. "Kuro please! T-There going to come out!" Shiro gripped on ken's shoulders with a wine, his kagune bursted out from his lower back and sprawled on the bed. "Shiro did that feel good?" Perhaps they were sensitive but even so the kagune were beautiful. When Shiro didn't answer he used two of his Kagune to pin down ken's arms above his head. Shiro was tired of playing around,he wanted to mark kaneki now and no sooner than that.

Shiro stuck two fingers in Kaneki's mouth and ordered him to suck. The other began sucking and licking softly at Shiro's fingers. They didn't have any lubrication but saliva would be useful, for a little while at least. Once Shiro's fingers were all nice and wet he coaxed his hard member with ken's saliva. Shiro groaned at how strange it felt but he continued to rub the wetness on his shaft. "Shiro will it hurt?" Kaneki asked quietly with concern, the white haired male knew it would hurt at first but kindly smiled at ken. "It shouldn't hurt as much since I stretched you out with my fingers." Kaneki gave a nod,"OK Shiro I trust you..." And with that Shiro placed Kaneki's legs on his shoulders while positioning himself comfortably. He pressed the tip of his cock on kens twitching hole,he licked his lips before carefully sliding in the tip barely half way. Kaneki's breath hitched as sharp pain began to crawl up his spine,he let out a whine and closes his eyes tightly. Shiro felt bad for hurting kaneki but he had to continue going in otherwise the pain won't go away. Shiro continued to push himself deeper and deeper earning more whimpers and whines of discomfort. Kaneki's eyes began to tear up as he started gripping the bed sheets. "S-Shiro it hurts....p-please don't push in anymore! P-please it hurts!-" Shiro gave one last push and stopped waiting for Ken to adjust to his size,Shiro rubbed small circles on Kaneki's stomach as he kissed the tears away. Kaneki calmed down as surprisingly so did the pain. The feeling of being full with Shiro's twitching cock made kaneki feel...pleased somehow. "You can move slowly now if you want." Shiro nodded and slowly started thrusting into the tight ring. The half ghoul continued his soft movements as the human below him started to pant quietly. "Shiro f-faster." Faster thrust were being made as kaneki let out a pleasurable sigh,"m-mhh yes~" Shiro blushed lightly at how ken was starting to get demanding, asking for more faster and harder thrust. He groaned and huffed at how his partners whole tightened around his leaking dick. Suddenly he brushed against something that made kaneki go wild. "Ah!~ s-shirrooo there- that spot h-hit it again!~" Shiro trusted harder at the sane spot that made the other moan and cry out for more. Each push and force that hit Kaneki's prostate made the raven haired male drool and pant heavily. Shiro was close now moaning at how intense the pleasure got. They embraced in a tight hug as there bodies moved in sync. "Shiro I'm close. I'm so close~♪" The white haired male smirked and kissed the other deeply,"I-I'm close too"  
Kaneki's arms and legs felt weak but he had an idea that would send both of them in pleasure town. "Shiro let go of my arms..." Shiro did as told,making his kagune disappear behind his lower back in curiosity. Kaneki grabbed Shiro's arms and flipped them over so they were in opposite positions. Kaneki slid up and positioned himself of the others cock. "Wait what are you-" before Shiro could finish his sentence Kaneki pushed himself all the way down on his shaft,kaneki placed his arms on Shiro's chest and began to ride his mate. "Shiro your getting bigger... Does it feel good inside me?~" Shiro groaned and placed his hands on Kens hips,"This is so unlike y-you." Kaneki went up and down on Shiro with a dark blush,ignoring the others comment. Yes he was close now. All that was left to do was have Shiro cum deeply inside him,practically marking him as his own. Loud moans continued to fill the room ad both boys felt the pressure pool in there stomachs. Shiro trusted his hips upwards wanting more of kaneki before finally cuming harshly inside the others hot cavern. "Ah,yes m-mmh!~" kaneki whimpered in pleasure as he soon reached his own climax, covering Shiro's chest and the sheets in cum. They stayed there catching there breath before separating and lying down next to each other. "Hah...that was certainly unexpected wasn't it?" Shiro chuckled softly and heard ken groan tiredly. "Shut up...." They cuddled up and hugged tightly. "Alright, Alright let's sleep you dork." Sleep quickly overcame the males as there tired bodies rested at ease.

Together till the end...


	6. Those Who Should Be Cherished♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths and secrets are beginning to unfold as tragedy slowly makes its way to both Kaneki and Shiro's lives. Will they even last?

Those who should be cherished  
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In the brightness of the morning sunlight kaneki woke up with a sharp pain in his lower body. Everything hurt and his shoulders,neck and back were covered in hickeys and bite marks. His memories of last night were a bit groggy since it was late and everything seemed so sudden. 'What happened?' Kaneki thought to himself when suddenly he saw Shiro sleeping peacefully beside him. Kaneki's eyes widened as he discovered they were both completely naked. "H-HUH?!-" kaneki almost fell out of bed and winced at the pain once again. He blushed deeply and covered his shy face with a whimper,"please don't tell me we....we...h-ha...had sex-" it made sense at last and forgotten memories flooded kens mind. He never thought they would go that far into there relationship so kaneki just accepted the fact that he had done it with a ghoul. When the deep thoughts and questions stopped kaneki took a second to look at Shiro who had been sleeping like a baby. The half ghoul looked peaceful and calm as his chest rose slightly with each breath of air he took. His eyelashes long and dark that made Shiro look so beautiful, almost like a girl perhaps. Kaneki took the time to marvel the elegance of his partner with a smile. "He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping..." Ken stroked the others white locks softly and chuckled, enjoying the rare moment. When Shiro woke up he noticed kaneki was gone,unreachable and unhugable. He sighed and took a glance at the window only to find small snowflakes falling down from the sky. He yawned and stretched his arms feeling quite satisfied and powerful. His marking from last night would show other ghouls to stay away from kaneki, especially if he had the scent of a alpha dominance. Shiro would also have Kaneki's scent as well and that would only prove how hard they made love. Kaneki was in the shower cleaning himself up from last nights mess and didn't even notice that Shiro had woken up. When Shiro heard the shower going on he knew kaneki was still home, that sudden realization made him smirk. Shiro sneakingly made his way to the bathroom and turned off the lights. Kaneki screamed and slipped on his own feet,falling directly on his butt cheeks. "W-who turned off the lights?! Shiro?...omg it's a ghost-" Shiro burst out laughing and it was a long time since he had done that. Whipping the laughing tears from his eyes he turned the lights back on and chuckled. "Your such a dork I swear. Ghost aren't even real by the way." Kaneki rubbed his tender cheeks and frowned at his boyfriend,"Well...I believe in the supernatural and mysterious." Shiro yawned and stretched his arms "I have work today so hurry up dork!!"  
"OK,OK you don't have to yell!"

After kaneki finished showering Shiro jumped right in a hurry. By the time kaneki finished changing the other had gone out and rushed to his closet slipping on his boxers,socks,work uniform, and shoes. Fixing Shiro's tie Kaneki spoke softly, "Your such a busy person...I wish you would relax for a bit." Shiro frowned slightly and looked down as ken was fixing his tie. "You don't understand why I'm like this in the first place. I suffered a lot in the past and..I'm just trying to make things right again." Shiro said sternly and walked to the door once the tie was prepared. Kaneki didn't understand what he meant when Shiro brought up 'make things right'. Kaneki often thought Shiro was talking about dropping out school or getting caught for robbery or something like that. With a slight nod kaneki smiled and told the white haired male to never stop trying. And with that Shiro made his way outside without a word being said. Walking his way to Anteiku he thought a lot about the 'what if's' which seemed to bother the young male. He was always a bit unsteady since the beginning before he became the monster he is now. Pain,suffering and grief were his only common emotions and friends. The only things that made Shiro stronger and obsessed with power but they were the only goals he had before. Until being met with Kaneki,Touka,Hinami,Hide (because of kaneki) and so many other great people. It had been a month or so since he had been working at Anteiku, the half ghoul reunited with a lot of his old friends but there was still worry clawing deep at his heart. "I have to get stronger." Shiro whispered into the cold winter air and shortly arrived at Anteiku. When he entered the coffee shop the first thing that he received was a loud lecture from Touka. "What's with you and being late?! We open at 8:00 straight so there's no reason to be lazy!" Shiro shuddered from her angry voice and spoke nervously, "Well you see I was busy the other day with um..." Touka sniffed the air a bit and wrinkled her nose slightly. "You had sex didn't you?" Shiro froze in place. "W-What? No it's just that I-" Touka suddenly pulled on the his cheeks, "Idiot at least shower good before coming! Just hurry up and get to work dumb ass." The purple haired female left with a playful smirk and continued to tend to the customers,leaving a bewildered Shiro behind. He sighed and started to serve a few orders before wondering if he even showered well. Just another unusual day then. Maybe.

At home Kaneki was organizing. He was also moving his belongings to Shiro's apartment since to how Kaneki is starting to live with his partner and honestly it wasn't a very good choice. Kaneki often thought about how much better it would be for Shiro to be in a relationship with someone else. A girl to be specific, someone Shiro can actually be happy with. 'I'm I happy...?' Kaneki thought about it for a while and frowned. He still had a good life but something was still missing. Something that couldn't be explained at times. So with a frown Kaneki continued to pack and unpack. "I should probably just stay out of his life. After all it's not like we will have a chance..." Kaneki placed a box on his new bed and went back to retrieve more but as Kaneki looked at Shiro's room he noticed something on the ground. He walked over to pick up the item that was on the ground as found it to be Shiro's skeleton grin mask. "Ah,why is this here?" Kaneki opened the drawer and threw the item in but froze when he saw something of value. "Hold on...Is this..no it can't be." With a stunned expression Kaneki picked up photo. The raven haired males hands began to shake. It was a picture of him and Hide. Hide had taken this picture in freshman year and gave it to Kaneki as a birthday present. "How does Shiro have this? Unless...." Kaneki ran to his box of clothes, books and belongings that was left on the bed. He pulled out the same picture from his notebook and stared at it carefully. "There the same pictures....No! it must be a copy or something! O-or maybe hide knew Shiro before? No that's not right they weren't friends back otherwise I would know." Kaneki want back to Shiro's room and searched for more unexplained things,suddenly he found a photo album. "Ah! Here we go. I'm sure Shiro isn't a stalker or anything. He has family right? Baby pictures? Something!" Ken looked through the photo album. Everything was quite. Silent for a brief moment. Kaneki stopped turning pages and stared at the ground, tears falling from his cheeks softly. He stopped at a picture that made him cry in agony. His mother. He was staring at a picture of his mother. She was smiling in the picture as she was cooking. Yes he remembered that day well enough, she was cooking and Kaneki decided to take a picture of her....

"Mommy! Mommy! Look over here!" Kaneki's mother turned towards her son and blinked in curiosity. A picture was taken as a flash of the camera was heard. "I took a picture of you moma~" Kaneki's mother giggled and smiled. "No fair sweetie I wasn't smiling! Take another one please." She said softly with love and Kaneki decided to take another picture. This time it came out perfect. "Ah! Mommy this one came out better than the other one!"  
"That's because I'm smiling dear. Now keep that picture OK? For memories." Kaneki nodded. "Ok moma." They shared a laugh together as mother and son.

Those days were better. Those days were joyful because times like those really made life meaningful. But whenever Kaneki's mother would beat and smack Kaneki they became not so memorable. But still he loved his mother regardless of the abuse. "How...? W-Why would he have this..." Kaneki lied down on the bed and sobbed silently. "What does this mean?"

At work Shiro was about ready to leave. His shift was over for the day and he felt a hunch,like something was wrong. Shiro got out of his work uniform and made his way to the door. "Hey idiot." Touka called from behind. Shiro looked back at the waitress with curiosity. "Don't look so gloomy or you'll scare the customers away." Shiro nodes slowly and says farewell to everyone at the café,unaware of the conflict that came. When arriving home Shiro opened the door and stepped inside. "I'm home Kaneki." It was dark and quiet. Too quiet actually. Shiro suspected Kaneki to be cooking, reading or even doing homework on the table but there was nothing. Turning the lights on he made his way to his room only to find a very upset Kaneki resting on the bed. "What are you doing in my room?" Shiro placed his bag on the ground and reached to touch Kaneki's shoulder when suddenly the younger male stood up and slapped Shiro in the face. "Don't touch me!!" Shiro's eyes widened as he placed a hand on his cheek,which was now red and burning. "What the hell are all of these huh?! Why?! Why do you have these pictures?! How cone there all mostly about me! And why is there a picture of my mom!?" Kaneki yelled put in anger and frustration, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes once more. Shiro froze and stood still. Looking at the ground with a sad yet worried face Shiro did not dare to look up. Those words hit him hard like ice cold water being thrown over your head. What could he say? What should he say? Shiro's mind began cluttering with words and excuses but the truth was the only thing to be told now. "Well?! I'm waiting Shiro!"   
Shiro looked up. His eyes painted with despair, his mouth dry and stiff he spoke slowly. "I...The reason why-" a sigh was made. "The reason why I have those pictures is because I'm you..." Silence. "I am Kaneki Ken."  
Kaneki chuckled and rubbed his temple moderately. "So your telling me that your me but from the future? How funny. Really how very funny. How long did it take you to come up with that line?" Shiro's lips frowned slightly as he spoke sternly with confidence. "I'm not lying. I'm you. But more older and more troubled.... Believe me when I say this I did not-"   
"Your lying!!!" Kaneki screamed and whimpered. "Your lying right? This is a sick joke Shiro please stop playing around." Shiro grabbed Kaneki's wrist and shores back. "You think I'm lying?! Look at me! Look.at.me." Kaneki cried like a baby and looked at Shiro,fear and confusion in his eyes as well. "Look at how similar our faces are!! Look at how similar our lives are!! We share the same favorite author and taste in books, we both have the same mom! The same best friend! Same everything!!" Kaneki got on his knees and covered his face. "H-H-How? Why?..." Shiro looked away in complete guilt. "Why did you turn out like this? A monster? I'll give you a simple answer... Rize Kamishiro and Jason."   
Kaneki finally understood why Shiro didn't like Rize but who was Jason? That suddenly didn't matter anymore. "Why didn't you tell me...? Why didn't you tell me such a big secret like that...?"  
Shiro turned around showing his back and made a fist with his hands. "Because I didn't want to hurt you or cause you harm. I love you and the thing I miss the most about being an innocent dork is that...I didn't have to worry about eating others or being eaten myself. Truth is I don't even know how I got here in this time period. I was in the verge of death and I suddenly wake up not knowing why everyone I knew forgot me. When in reality no one even knew me." Kaneki listened and rubbed his eyes trying to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Knowing that I was a ghoul was bad enough but now that you know I'm you from the future.... I can't risk hurting you anymore. I'm so sorry." Before Kaneki could say anything Shiro walked away and headed out the door and left. Kaneki sat there his arm was reached out towards Shiro but sank down to the ground. "Shiro p-please come back...don't leave me."

It was night now and Shiro walked the streets with so many mixed thoughts and emotions. People were passing by going around instead of going through the white haired male. Sadness had filled his heart once more. So to protect and save those he cared for Shiro decided to leave the only home he ever had. For a very very long time.

Those who are cherished matter the most. With a final glance at the place he grew up in Shiro spoke with a calmness, "I'm sorry." And disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey its me again. Anyway I think this story is going good so far. It may take a while for new chapters to arrive but its ok don't worry. Anyway have a good day! <3


	7. Different Lives♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where is Shiro? Will he ever come back? What will happen to everyone else? Destiny holds the true sad yet beautiful answers.

Different lives  
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When Shiro left after having a serious conversation with Kaneki It's been a while since he came back. Kaneki hasn't seen Shiro in a week and it was starting to worry him very much. Eventually Kaneki stayed and took care of the apartment,moving furniture and belongings in order to feel comfortable in Hus new home but it didn't feel much like home anymore without Shiro around. Despite Shiro being Kaneki from the future the love was still there. Kaneki loved Shiro and wanted him back so badly it would hurt thinking about it. Some nights Ken would cry himself to sleep in Shiro's bed waiting for him to cone back,desperately needing the love and security of his dear counterpart. Everyday was almost the same now. Wake up,eat breakfast,read,go out,come back home,eat dinner and go to bed. It was very boring and casual but since Kaneki wasn't going to college classes what else is there to do? Kaneki sighs a tired sigh and looks out the window,watching people pass by and live there lives. Suddenly He happen to see Touka pass by with a young girl who had brown hair. 'Ah the little girl from the picture' Kaneki thought and saw how Sad they both looked walking by crowds of people. "Wait- Touka knows Shiro very well maybe she knows where he is!" Kaneki got up and ran out the door trying to reach the young girls before they left. When he got outside of to the street he searched for Touka and the little girl,then from a short distance he saw purple hair. "There you are." Ken quickly ran over to them while pushing past people,when he was close enough he shouted. "E-Excuse me! Miss Touka!?" Touka froze and looked back seeing the raven haired male stand a few inches away,panting from the running. "Do I know you?" She asked sternly and frowned. "Um no you don't know me very well but I'm uh...Shiro's boy-"  
"Your his boyfriend right? Figures. He talked about you a lot you know." Kaneki stood up straight and blinked. "He has? O-oh..." Touka smiled slightly. "You look an awful lot like Shiro. You two are very similar as a matter of fact..." The little girl started smiling as well but sadness was still in her eyes. "You look a lot like my big brother...you even smell like him." Touka jolted and glared at The young girl,She squeaked and looked away. "U-Um excuse me?" Touka laughed nervously and removed her bangs from her forehead. "She's just playing around! Kids can have such funny imagination and creativity!" Kaneki smiled and nods in slight agreement, "Yeah sure...anyway I was wondering if you know where Shiro is." Touka's eyes turned angry and Kaneki knew that wasn't a good sign. "How should I know where that stupid liar is? He's not my responsibility now is he?"  
"Wait but i-" Touka turned around and started walking, "Now if you excuse us we must leave. Come on Hinami let's go." The brown haired girl followed Touka with her head down. "Ah wait that's not very nice of you to say Touka! Look I'm just worried OK?" Kaneki took a glance at the sky. "I know he's going to come back either way....so please just tell me when you last saw him.." Touka turned around once more and made a gesture with her hands. "Follow me then."

When they reached Anteiku it was a day off so the shop was closed. They entered through the back and Kaneki never thought how nice Anteiku was. He didn't notice how organized and clean it was even though he's been here lots of times. Touka sat down on a chair and looked away, "So tell me how close were you and Shiro. How was the idiot around you?" Hinami had left upstairs to read and Kaneki gulped feeling nervous. "Um Shiro and I met at a bookstore... We were first friends but I feel so different around him I couldn't help but fall in love...Shiro is real kind when he wants to be and he overworks himself. You could say were pretty close but I had an argument with him and....he left." Touka sighed and swirled her hair with a finger, "Do you know what he is?" She spoke sternly once more. "He's a ghoul."  
"Not just any ghoul a half ghoul. And the most troublesome I've met to be honest." She chuckled. "He left after stopping by and saying that he was going to leave. When I asked him where he stayed silent. He said he was going to come back but he's a liar. How could he leave like that its so stupid!" She glared at the window and sighed. "Your both idiots. And I don't have to know you to see that."  
"H-Hey!" Kaneki protested and tried proving he wasn't a complete dummy. Touka just laughed and chuckled, "Your both meant for each other I swear." Kaneki smiled shyly then patted Touka's shoulder. "I think he will be back. Just have faith in him." Touka blinked and stared at the smiling human. "Have faith in him huh...? Alright I'll do that."  
Kaneki got up and walked towards the door and opened it slightly before looking back. "Thank you for your help anyway Touka...you and Hinami take care. And outside he went. Touka smiled and got up stairs to join Hinami.  
Meanwhile as Kaneki was walking in the streets he looked sad himself. Too sad as a matter of fact, Shiro left and said goodbye to others but when it came to Ken there were no goodbyes or sorrys said. Maybe Shiro is better of alone? He's probably living a good life somewhere having a good time? Maybe. Kaneki just hoped Shiro was OK at least even if he didn't feel like coming back. A tap on his shoulder was felt surprisingly, Kaneki thought it was Shiro but when he turned around hr saw the girl he once liked. "Hello Kaneki-Kun~ remember me?" He stiffened up but remained cool. "Ah, hello Rize..." She giggled "I noticed you were walking alone could I possibly join you? If its no bother of course." Kaneki nodes slowly and watched as she happily walked beside him, "Oh thank you so much Ken dear~ so where ate you going right now?"   
"Home actually... I wasn't doing much anyway." Rize made a frown and spike sadly, "Awe are you lonely? Poor Kenny...say why don't you join me for dinner? It will be my treat!" Kaneki hesitated at first but taking a good glance at Rize she seemed very innocent and kind. Maybe Shiro was lying about her being a ghoul and everything. Perhaps this was a chance for a new start with someone else? So Kaneki happily agreed with a grin. "That would be very nice Miss Kamishiro,thank you."   
"Oh no need to be so formal~ just continue calling me Rize Darling." Kaneki blushed slightly as she took a hold of his hand and dragged Kaneki through the crowd. 'This might actually turn out good' he said to himself with a nervous smile and off they went to eat dinner.

At a small but beautiful restaurant they ate dinner. Well Rize wasn't eating anything as a matter of fact,she only ordered a glass of water but it was still a bit odd. "So um Rize why aren't you eating anything? Weren't you the one that insisted we eat together?" Rize made a small gasp and covered her lips slightly, "Oh my. Well thing is I had just eaten not that long ago. I'm quite full~" Kaneki nodes and let it slide as he enjoyed his meal. Everything was going smoothly and before you know it Rize and Ken started talking about books they liked. "You know Takatsuki's novels are very interesting. Its no wonder why people love to read her stories." Kaneki spined his fork around the spaghetti he was eating with a calming expression. "So which ones is your recomedation Kaneki?"  
"Her fist story probably." Rize smiled. "Oh her first story was so mysterious! And the trick with the letter was so unexpected." Kaneki started chewing his food and took a good glance at Rize. First her face,eyes,mouth then chest. Her chest was surprisingly big he thought. "Monochrome rainbow is a short story but also good too!" She noticed Kaneki's blush and blinked, "Is everything alright? You look a little red." Ken flinched and gasped, "N-No everything is fine!!" Rize giggled. "I'm glad then."

As they walked outside it was getting pretty late. "Wow the days sure do fly." Rize held Kaneki's hand. "Yeah they sure do huh? That's OK though we still have time to do more fun things ~" Kaneki looked at Rize in curiosity. "Fun things? What type of fun things Rize?" Rize blushed and parted her lips slightly, she leaned in near Kaneki's ear and whispered. "Well for starters you can come to my house and we could....you know have a real good time."   
The raven haired male turned red and laughed nervously. "O-Oh? Well OK then- er...um.." Rize started walking forward with a grin. When Kaneki wasn't looking she smirked sinisterly. "I'm sure you'll have lots of fun. I know I will~" They started walking together now and Kaneki had just finished telling Rize his story about how his classmates started punking on Hide. "And so everyone started aiming Bottle rockets at Hide for doing that and honestly it was so funny." Rize laughed, "That's so mean! But surprisingly sounds fun..." Kaneki reached inside his bag and pulled out some old drawings him and Hide had done. "Oh here are some drawings of what we thought ghouls looked like."   
"Wow Kaneki those are so awesome! ~ You and Hide are really talented!" Kaneki chuckled and scratched the back of his head, "You think so? Awe t-thanks."  
Rize stopped walking and looked down. "You know it's so nice to hang out with you. We have so much in common. And where is your friend Shiro by the way?" Kaneki spoke softly, "Um he left town...anyway I really had fun but maybe I'll have to go home after all-"  
Rize shouted in worry, "On please don't leave! I promise you that nothing bad will happen! Its just that I'm too scared to walk alone..."  
"Scared? Why?" Rize looked around nervously, "Have you heard the news about what happened in Takada building street? I live past there and...and-" Kaneki flinched and spoke out. "R-Right the ghoul problem! Listen why didn't you tell me I'll be happy to company you!" Rize's lips trembled. "Really?..."  
"Yup." The male smiled and so did the light purple haired female. She spoke again and hugged Kaneki tightly, wrapping her arms around human. "You know Kaneki I noticed the way how you looked at me before... And honestly I've...." Kaneki's heart pounded as blush spread across his cheeks. "Y-Yeah...?"   
"I've been watching you too." A loud chomp was heard,Kaneki's shoulder burned as he felt blood pour down into the ground. His eyes widened, 'She bit me? But how...? Why?' He saw monstrous eyes looking at Ken's light brown ones. He screamed and fell back on the ground, holding his injured arm he noticed blood on her mouth. "That expression is so cute~ oh Kaneki do you know how jealous I was to find out that you had been marked by Shiro? Your stupid little boyfriend." Kaneki's arm burned and hurt, he spoke out with a quivering voiceS-Shiro was right you are a ghoul..."  
"And I'm surprised you didn't notice~ well regardless of who your with I'm going to enjoy eating your sweet insides" She laughed hysterically and lucked her lips, She threw away her glasses and ribbons as her Kagune bursted out of her lower back. Kaneki's eye pupils went small. Those were... Shiro's kagune. Those were exactly like Shiro's! He got up and started running the other direction terrified for his life, "where are you going Kenny?~" she crooned sadistically and used her kagune's to grab Kaneki by the feet and drag him back. He screamed and yelled trying to call for help but it was late and no one would be out at night. Rize lifted Kaneki up to the sky and threw him harshly at a wall nearby. He crashed and tumbled as he was thrown, coughing and shaking weakly from the pain. "Oh Kaneki~ where are you?" He got up once more and walked slowly, his vision fading and blood being lost. "Oh there you are~" her kagune stabbed right through Kaneki,screams of agony heard loud and clear. "A-Ack-" Kaneki coughed up blood and rested on the wall behind him. "R-Rize....please stop."   
She laughed and licked the blood that was on her kagune. "Your already going to die anyway so why stop? Just let me eat you up~" The kagune stood high in the air ready to attack and kill. Kaneki looked up at the kagune scared but willing do accept death. He closed his eyes crying silently. "Goodbye Kaneki dear I really had fun." Just before the kagune struck loud crashing of metal was heard from above,when Rize looked up large heavy pipes fell on top of her practically squishing her like a bug. "How..." Her kagune disappeared into mist as she was dying. "Could this....ha-happen..." Her eyes lost shine and meaning as her last breath was taken in a short wheeze. Kaneki looked around to see if anyone helped but found no one. The pipes was probably a accident. Still he felt his eyes go heavy as his body felt weak. Loud sirens of polices and the ambulance was heard and just like that Kaneki passed out.

"Doctor..." Faint sounds were heard. "What should we do?" The voices were hard to understand with the loud ringing in Kaneki's ears. "Continue with the plan."  
"But doctor-" Shadows of people were seen as eyes began to open slightly. "Just do as I say." Everything went black again. Kaneki was swimming in water. The water was blue and felt warm but soon turned blood red and cold. Rize's naked body pressed up against Kaneki's naked body. She covered his eyes with a smirk and everything went black again. In the hospital bed Kaneki woke up. His eyes were mismatched now as his brownish left eye was slightly open,and in the right eye was nothing but a disaster. Kaneki's right eye completely open black surrounding it instead of white, the eye color changed as well to blood red with small veins spreading across the whole thing.

This was soon to be nothing more than a tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some emotional stuff is going to happen. My poor babies;;  
> Anyway I'm trying hard to make the story accurate or similar to the original Tokyo Ghoul series. But this is fan fiction so of course it's different. May or may not contain spoilers!


	8. Forever Changed♥

Forever changed  
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After a very long sleep in the hospital bed Kaneki woke up eventually. Everything seemed like a dream and any memories of yesterday were still a bit foggy. Kaneki woke up with a sharp pain throughout his body as he stood up slowly. "Nhhg...How did I get here...?" A doctor had just walked in. A somewhat old man who looks like he's on his 60's or 70's. "Hello Mr. Ken how are you feeling?"  
Kaneki frowned and looked at his hands. "I feel terrible." The doctor chuckled and smiled kindly. "Well you should be. You were under critical condition for a while, I'm surprised your even alive. You had some damaged organs and broken bones that healed up shortly after the organ transplant." Kaneki blinked and looked at the old man. "Organ what?...wait how am I supposed to react to all this? I'm basically traumatized here." The doctor gave Kaneki a small pat on the back. "Your right you need rest. I'll let you rest for a while then we can probably talk later OK Mr. Ken?" He walked out slowly and closed the door. Kaneki sighed and looked out the window. 'Was yesterday real...? Or did I get hit by a truck or something?' Kaneki thought to himself. 

Kaneki wasn't really craving anything in particular such as burgers or sandwiches. Every food he thought of made his stomach turn and feel sick. A nurse walked in and smiled kindly placing a tray of food near Kaneki. "Okay Mr. Ken here's your dinner for today. Its steak with a side of pea's and mash potatoes also..." She handed Kaneki a cup of warm tea. "Here's a warm cup of tea to help you calm down." Kaneki didn't say anything and just held the cup with both hands weakly. "Um well enjoy~" She opened Kaneki's window to let air in and left. 'What's wrong with me?' Kaneki sadly looked out the window and took a sip of his tea. Then he looked at his food,It looked nasty but he placed the tray on his lap and cautiously got the fork. He poked the piece of meat off and bit it softly. Kaneki suspected it to taste nice and juicy but that was the opposite, "m-mhh!" Kaneki spit out his food in the trash and coughed several times. "Why does it taste so nasty?! Aren't hospitals supposed to give good food? I'm going to have to complain to the nurse next time..." 

Kaneki had stayed in the hospital for a few hours before being able to leave. He signed paper works and payed a couple of bills using his bank account which was totally not worth it. It was rather expensive but Kaneki could manage his life somehow with a part time job. When Kaneki walked out the hospital with his bag he remembered that the doctor wanted to talk to him later on. "Ah, that's right I never found out his name..." Kaneki shrugged slightly and headed off to his home,hoping that Shiro came back. When he arrived home it was empty as usual now. Dark,damp and boring. Kaneki sighed a long sad sigh and sat on the couch with a pained expression. "Did Shiro really leave because of me...? I-I never thought the argument would affect him so much." Kaneki ruffled his hair in frustration and felt hot tears stroll down his cheeks. "I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm so so sorry Shiro...please come back..." Little hiccups and sobs were heard as Kaneki sunk deeper into the couch. He curled up on the couch and hugged his knees feeling completely empty. Suddenly there was a loud vibration of his phone,Kaneki pulled out his phone from his pocket and saw that Hide had just texted him.

Hide: Hey man haven't seen you in a while you OK?

Kaneki frowned and placed the phone on the coffee table. He felt bad about ignoring Hide but Kaneki couldn't allow his best friend to get caught up in troublesome problems. Kaneki had always been a little unsteady in his own way. Antisocial and awkward, A complete nerd and dork. Why would anyone be his friend? Or lover as a matter of fact. Why? Why indeed?

Kaneki stayed on the couch and continued to cry letting his emotions get the better of him. Yes being alone was probably for the best. To start anew and fresh perhaps? It was worth a shot. "Uhhg...I'm such a baby." Kaneki groans feeling stupid now. He wipes his eyes and gets up feeling confident about life once more with or without Shiro. The raven haired male eventually went to the kitchen to pick out something to eat. He found a microwaveable Burger from the crowded fridge and began heating it up. As the Burger was heating up the smell began filling the room making Kaneki wrinkle his nose in disgust. "Maybe I heated it up for too long?" No the minutes to heat it up correctly were done and the expiration date wasn't till another month. Kaneki held the Burger and bit a good piece of it cautiously. He chewed for a while then began to feel utterly sick, spitting his food on the trash he choked a couple of times. "What is wrong with me?! Why does food taste so nasty?!" He went in the fridge and grabbed a sandwich. Biting into the food the same thing happened as before. Nasty and unbearable taste filled up his taste buds as they burned. He chewed and swallowed pieces of his sandwich,including his Burger and gaged running to the bathroom and throwing up the food immediately. Running back to eat more food same thing happened with nearly everything that was in the fridge,More throwing up and coughing was made as Kaneki tried to eat to fill up his hunger. Eventually he gave up and stood on front of the mirror washing his pale face with cold water. "What's going on? Hah why can't I eat?" Tiredly Kaneki panted. Kaneki looked at his reflection and froze in place.  
"H-Huh...?" He touched the corner of his right eye. Everything was black but his eye color had changed to a dark red. "No....No...nononono!!" Kaneki screamed and began to panic feeling the air around him shrinking and getting heavy. Rize suddenly appeared like a ghost giggling in amusement. Kaneki flinched and stumbled back on the ground and fell down. "R-Rize?!" He looked around on fear and whimpered. "This is a dream just a bad dream. I'm not a ghoul I'm just in a coma or something. It will all be okay you'll see." Kaneki tried to calm himself down but the calmness soon turned to fear once soft feminine hands began to wrap around his slender build. "Hello Kaneki dear~" Kaneki squeaked and trembled looking back at the mysterious phantom that resembled Rize so much. "I hope you enjoy this gift that was given to you~ It would really be a shame if you didn't use it."  
Kaneki stuttered, "T-Try what? Wait what do you mean?" Rize smirked and kissed Kaneki's cheek. "You'll find out soon Kenny dear~ just close your eyes and rest..." Kaneki shivered slightly and got up quickly running to his room. "I can't eat food and I can kill myself..." Kaneki remembered what Shiro had said about ghouls, they couldn't be easily injured by normal weapons such as knifes. "This is a dream right?...I-I can't..." Kaneki flopped to his bed and sobbed on the pillow. Kaneki looked around the room and covered himself with a blanket,heavy streams of teats pouring down his cheeks once more. 

This nightmare should be over soon. Besides nothing last forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got tired of summarizing a bit so I'll just let you read ewe  
> Anyway my story sucks but thank you for the kudos!~


	9. The Past Is Always Forgotten♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kaneki Ken? Haise Sasaki? Who am I?"

The past is always forgotten  
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Months and years. Days and nights. They all seemed to pass so quickly with each day of daily living but of course Kaneki couldn't remember anything anymore. Everything that has happened to Shiro happened to Kaneki. Every single conflict and drama,not to mention the number of deaths when it came to those close to him. Now everything was gone and Kaneki no longer lived by the name of Kaneki Ken. Now he was known as...

"Haise Sasaki?" Akira called out. "Haise Sasaki!" Haise had woken up from his peaceful nap. He looked up tiredly at his superior Akira Mado who had been supervising Haise for a while. She brushed her blond hair to the side,looking quiet displeased And now she was currently having a meeting with many of the CCG investigators. They all looked at Haise in curiosity and the male suddenly blushed in shame,"H-Huh? I'm sorry... I just stayed up pretty late trying to finish my paperwork." Haise yawned and rubbed his eyes. Lately it had been hard to sleep at night due to the strange nightmares that have happened to him recently. Akiro frowned and spoke with softness but also sterdyness, "That's fine but next time please try not to fall asleep in meetings OK?" Haise noded and the meeting was soon over. Stepping outside of the office Haise sighed as Arima passed by also looking displeased in his own calm way of course. "Sleep more earlier Haise. It will help..." Haise glady smiled following Arima around like a puppy. "I'll try my best sir! Also I've been wondering about the new case that was given to me...are you sure I can handle it?" Arima looked at Haise and smiled slightly (very slightly). "I'm sure you will do just fine. There has been recent ghoul activity in the 20th ward and who else better for the job than you?" Haise felt very proud and confident now. "Ah, thank you Arima-San!" Haise bowed in respect as Arima left. "I should probably be heading back to my squad now. I wonder what they are doing."

Back at Haise's apartment the whole squad group were playing a friendly game of chess. The Quinx squad also affiliated with the Mado squad were CCG investigators with built in quinque. They were considered both humans and ghouls but at times it could be very hard to explain what they were. 

Haise on the other hand was the group leader who apparently is a normal half ghoul but the CCG keep it a secret convincing Haise he was originally a human. When he arrived home he saw Kuki Urie a calm and rather mean young man who doesn't enjoy small talk and Ginshi Shirazu who was a bit outgoing but seemed scary due to his shark like teeth and eyes. The two males were playing against each other in chess and Haise could tell drama will soon start. "Damit Urie are you cheating or something?!" Said the orange haired shark boy. "How does a person cheat in chess? Your probably too stupid for this game." Replied the black purplish haired tough boy.  
"What did you say?!" Shirazu got up and growled. "You heard me."  
"G-Guys please don't fight!" Mutsuki Tooru nervously cried out trying to calm them down. Haise knew Mutsuki was a girl but would often get confused by the male features since Mutsuki did have short green hair and a flat chest. He glanced over at Saiko Yonebayashi who was lying down on the couch eating like a lazy bum. Saiko didn't like being active in things and it was a struggle to wake her up in the mornings. She looked tired everyday as she had sluggish looking eyes and damp light blue hair. Yeah she needed help. "Hey guys what's going on here?" Saiko got up and smiled. "Maman your home!" She called out excitedly, hugging Haise tightly. Haise hugged back and chuckled. "Ah, Sensei! Welcome home sir!" Mutsuki bowed politely. Shirazu and Kuki had stopped fighting by then and looked over at Haise with irritated looks. "Where were you?" They both asked at the same time. "Um at a meeting....? Sorry guys I'll make dinner in a bit~" Haise said gladly and walked over to the kitchen. Shirazu's mood began to get better and Urie stayed the same-

Mutsuki followed Haise into the kitchen to help with preparing dinner as always.  
"Sasaki there's a question I wanted to ask you for a while now..." Mutsuki was Washing dishes as Haise was cutting up some vegetables for dinner. "Oh? Well what's the cucumber?" Mutsuki laughed nervously as Haise held up a cucumber and grained proudly. "You mean what's the question." Haise giggled. "No its a pun because how I used cucumber instead of question. You see how I-"  
"Y-Yeah I get it. Anyway..." Mutsuki often had to put up with Haise's terrible puns, as a mater of fact the whole squad had to deal with it sometimes but it was funny to hear Haise try. Mutsuki shyly looked at Haise,being nervous of the question she was about to ask. "Um...your 22 now and I was just wondering..." Haise looked at Mutsuki as he was holding the knife, "Hm?"  
"Have you...ever been in a relationship?" Those words made Haise jolt and drop his knife. 'Ah, a relationship?' The pudding haired investigator thought in his mind. He ruffled his black and white hair softly and chuckled touching his chin. "Oh um...no that that I could remember at least. I don't think I ever had a significant other haha..." Mutsuki picked up the knife for Haise and frowned slightly. "Sorry for asking. I was just curious you know." Haise shook his head and giggled forgetting about the whole thing. "No no it's OK. You have every right to ask. Now let's serve these hungry people before they attack us OK?" Mutsuki smiled and helped Haise serve their group members there dinner. As everyone was chatting and laughing (except for Urie of course) Haise seemed to be stuck in deep thoughts, thinking about his past that was so mysterious and forgotten.

After dinner was done everyone went to their separate rooms. Haise was sitting on his chair finishing some important documents on his writing table. He felt his reading glasses slide to the tip of his nose and pushed his glasses back with his finger. "Hmm...okay so 20 ward...ah, here we go. Recent ghoul activity has been near local civilians. A ghoul with white hair and a mask has been seen more than once around the area. Huh funny it doesn't show much information on the ghoul." Haise skimmed through files and saw only the name and rank of the ghoul. "SS rated ghoul Eye patch...?" The young male spoke out flicking his tongue slightly. The name felt familiar but it was still foreign coming out from his lips. "Defiantly going to have to look over this with the group tomorrow. Or I'll probably just do this alone." Haise rubbed his eyes and set his work aside for now. It was time for bed. 

Nothing was heard but the sound of the clock ticking and the crickets making music outside in the night. The moon was high in the sky glowing as bright as a flashlight. Haise couldn't sleep though. He knew everyone was sleeping but Haise couldn't sleep. He laid there on the bed looking up at the ceiling with his arms crossed. He knew that late at night somewhat around 12:00 it would come. "Ha...se...." The noises were soft but slowly becoming more clear. "Hai...se... Haaise..." He tried his best to ignore the sound but he couldn't help but answer back. "I know your there...just go away." There was a figure beside the bed now,first looking dark and cloudy but soon getting a proper form. "Aw Haise that's no way to talk to me now is it?" The creature spoke loud and clear now, it had white snowy hair and half of its face was covered by a creepy looking mask with a huge moving eyeball. The other eye white with no life in it what so ever, the creature was obviously a male but often reminded Haise of a giant centipede. "Haise...you know you need me. Just accept me."  
Haise tried his best to not gaze upon the monster by turning away but before he could it had sat on top of Haise's lap and grabbed a hold of his neck. "Ah...please just go away..." Haise knew better than to argue with the entity, he mostly tried to maintain himself hoping it would go away. "Won't work this time Haise. Just accept me already. Your so weak..." It leaned in and nuzzled the investigators neck,sniffing the sensitive skin. "Your body is trembling... So so weak." Its grip around Haise's neck tightened and it laughed. "S-Stop please I'm... I'm..." The centipede like creature removed it's hands from Haise's neck and bit down harshly on the exposed skin,blood gushing out rapidly, flesh being torn apart. Haise made a choked scream and gripped the others clothing, coughing up blood and closing his frightened eyes tightly. "I-I'm...H-H....Haise!!!"

When Haise woke up he was on the floor crying and gasping for air. He touched his neck and gave out a slight wheeze. "Ha....I hate these dreams..." The morning started out normal everyday except for the nightmares that made the day start out tired and sore.

Haise got up and dressed in his average yet decent looking CCG investigator style. Washing his face in the mirror he noticed how pale he has gotten,due to the late night sleeping. The male quickly grabbed two vitamin pills and brushed his teeth hoping no one had woken up yet. Haise looked around and headed downstairs with his briefcase and opened the door slowly. "Where are you going?" Haise jolted and looked behind him seeing Saiko rubbing her eyes with a bag of chips in her free hand. "Ah, Why are you up so early?" Saiko began munching on the snack and smiled, "I was hungry." Haise frowned slightly and sighed. Saiko never was much of a healthy person either, always eating and never exercising. It always bothered moma Haise. "Please eat some breakfast before eating that junk OK? Also I'm going out for a bit I'll be back." Saiko nodded and placed her food on the table. "Sure maman come home safe OK?" A slight frown was made. Haise was always careful right? Either way he would do as Saiko said,you can never be too careful. Closing the door behind him Haise set out in a mission to find out who this Eye patch was and prove to himself he can be useful.

"Ah...." Haise was in the middle of a busy street completely lost as he held his map close. "I could have swore it said go left on Hiroshi street or something...." The investigator has been walking for 35 minutes now clearly being frustrated with his lack of memory and bad navigation. "I'll just take a shortcut downtown." Haise sighed and began walking once more. Usually Haise would try to overcome any obstacle that was faced at him but lately the happiness and energy was drained somehow. After a while of walking he noticed a rather familiar place. It was nothing more than your average coffee shop right? Filled with people of all sorts but what made it so special. It is still early for a good cup of coffee... "A...Anteiku?" Haise felt funny saying it but the street was somehow...important to him. He had the strong urge to go inside Anteiku and surprisingly did just that. When he stepped in the coffee shop everything felt very relaxing and at home,Haise smiled happily then sat down on an empty chair. He sat in a table that was a bit far from people but that was OK. It was good to be alone sometimes. "Hello sir how can I help you?" A soft voice was heard. "Oh hello! I would like to order a uh...." Haise's eyes widened slightly as he gazed upon a female waitress. She had short hair that reached up to her shoulders and beautiful purple eyes. Although her purple eyes didn't match her bouncy blue hair it was still a pretty sight. Her hair covered one of her eyes and with a kind smile she tilted her head, "Yes? What is it you would like?" Haise shyly touched his chin and chuckled. "My bad um I'll have a caramel frap please." She rote down the order and smiled once more. "Will that be it?" The male nodes and off she went. When the waitress went behind the counter she looked over at her coworker. "Hey idiot." Another young male was introduced. He was slightly taller and more fit than most guys,he wore a eye patch on his right eye and glanced over at his friend. "Yes Touka-chan?" His grey eye blinking in curiosity as his snowy white hair shined in the light. "Come here. Ok now look at the guy over there with the suitcase and funny hair." The white haired male looked at the investigator and frowned. "What about him? He just looks like a normal dove....? Ah-" He froze,eyed widening. No it can't be. Was that Kuro? "Go give him his order Shiro. After all you are the same person bounded by fate." Touka left and gave Shiro the dove's order of coffee. Shiro's lip trembled. He wanted to cry so badly right now but had to restrain. He was back his precious lover was back but Shiro couldn't possibly confront him,it was too sudden. What should he say? Sorry? I love you? I missed you?  
Shiro took in a deep breath and made his way to the table hoping that this could be another chance to make things right between them. "Your...Your order sir..." Shiro spoke but his voice sounded scared and husky. Haise looked up and smiled kindly but his smile soon left his lips. Shiro's eyes darted to the side to avoid eye contact. 'Why is he staring at me like that? S-Should I say something?' Shiro thought and just when hecwas about to open his mouth Haise spoke. "Have I seen you before?" Shiro blinked. "I'm sorry this is funny to say but I feel like I've met you from somewhere. Have we worked together in the past? Perhaps you were working part time in the CCG I could have sworn I-"  
"No. You don't know me..." Haise chuckled and said sorry a couple of times. "Oh I'm sorry then. May I ask your name?" Haise felt so stupid right now. What has gotten over him? Why was he so attracted to this stranger? "My name is Shiro." Even the name sounded familiar. "Nice to meet you Shiro! I'm Haise Sasaki~" Shiro's eyes grew dark. 'Haise Sasaki...what a stupid fake name. Your not Haise Sasaki...Your Kaneki!! Kaneki Ken!!' Shiro screamed in his head. How could this happen? Why can't Kaneki remember?! Shiro closed his eyes tightly. "Well...I must go now. Enjoy your order." Shiro quickly left and ran to the bathroom. Once locking himself in he shrunk down to the ground and hugged his knees,hot tears of frustration leaving his eyes. "Whywhywhywhywhy?" Shiro sobbed out silently. This was all his fault for not being there to protect Kaneki. Now Kaneki lives a fake life with fake people and there is nothing he could do about it now. All he could do was step aside and let Kaneki live his life anew. And as for Shiro well maybe it was time to forget about Kaneki Ken for there is only one now.

Haise looked down at his coffee feeling like he bothered the white haired stranger he thought he knew so well. Haise looked up and smiled feeling confident he can make Shiro become his new friend. Clearly Shiro wouldn't mind right? All Haise had to do was talk to him whenever coming to Anteiku. "I can come here next time with my squad and I'll be sure to say hi to Shiro and the very sweet lady who took my order." Haise looked around Anteiku and chuckled feeling like his old self. More joyful and content. "I want to talk to them. And I'm sure they do too."

Haise eventually left Anteiku to continue his investigation, promising to come back next time. Touka tried her best to comfort Shiro knowing how much it hurts to see someone you once knew change. There's no happiness for ghouls. Only sorrow and regret...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy guess what Tokyo Ghoul is getting a third season in 2018!~ Tokyo Ghoul Re: will finally be animated and I can't wait to see how it goes. Anyway be sure to cheak out the preview :)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! My name is Sunflower king and this is my first time writing a story so it may not be that good okay? I hope that this Fanfic pleases you in some type of way and if you have any useful information to share with me then I'll be glad the accept the extra help and support! Arigato ;3;
> 
> Paring: Black haired kaneki ken x White haired Kaneki Ken  
> Anime/Manga: Tokyo Ghoul  
> Creator of Anime/Manga: Ishida Sui
> 
> (( Reminder some chapters are short!! ))


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